"Make Fun of Chris" Contest!

Greetings!  So as you may have noticed, I just put up a post and here we are a few days later with yet another one.  Well thanks to Mike Wheeler and my new direction (Occam's Razor), I will try to keep my posts shorter in an attempt to keep the new material coming more often.  I hope that this one is a fun one for all of you as I'm offering a contest prize for the person with the best response. 

For those of you that don't know me very well, I can be a smart ass...a total, raging smart ass.  I have a lot of people in my life that also like to give me as much crap as I like to give them.  So here is your chance to get in a funny jab at my expense.  Some of you have already made some pretty funny comments about my current situation with the whole hip thing, so I though I'd start a collection.

Now please keep it respectful.  While I can take some humor at my expense, my fragile self-esteem will not be able to handle a full assault of my overall being...so let's be nice please.

Here are two examples of what not to say:

Yeah, not funny and more than likely not going to go over well here.

But, I do have examples of some of the comments / jokes already made:

• Pinkerton started calling me HIPpie (which is hilarious if anyone remembers me from my actual hippie days)
• Tami said "...it's a pain in the hip"
• Because of my hideous scar, Nik asked if she can start calling me "Zipper"  (Dear Nik - Only if you don't expect me to respond)
• When Greg saw the picture of Adler and me with my cane, he said we looked like the pimp versions of Dr Evil and Mini Me
• Karen sent me a pretty funny text one night:

(***Anyone else find it odd that they do the "One-Hip Hokey Pokey" at fish frys these days?)

• And of course my favorite (and front runner) so far, Jason L sent me a link to The Scooter Store.  After I was done laughing, I fired up Photoshop and sent him a version of my own:

Jason said I look good.  Cara said she was going to print a copy to hang in her cube and blackmail me.  Both were appropriate responses.

So there you go, feel free to leave your best comments.  I'll be checking throughout the week and then submit the top 5 (assuming I actually get that many) to a preselected panel of judges for the final decision of who is the winner.

Also, in addition to this just being an exciting opportunity to take a jab at my expense (Ryan, I hope you're paying attention), the winner will receive a special prize along with an award ceremony to be captured on a future edition of the Lemon.

Good luck to you all...

-Cheers!