Monday, August 22, 2011

Lemon Quickies IV

Before you say it, I know...I've been neglecting my duties as a blogger and I am in danger of having my "Blog Poster Guy" badge revoked.  Due to all the travel for my job, my work/life balance has been a little one sided lately.  Any freetime I have managed to muster recently has been dedicated to re-watching the entire series of Arrested Development (damn you all for not supporting it...you know who you are). 


For those of you who are not familiar with this show, but enjoy the humor sprinkled throughout this blog, you may want to check it out.  I'd be willing to bet you'd get at least a few chuckles from time to time, and for those of you with a NetFlix account, you can watch all the episodes online.

Anyway, back to the current post - I realized that I haven't done any "quickies" lately.  After checking my notes, I also realized that I had about four pages of one liners and quick cartoon ideas so I decided I should probably start drawing them out and sharing.



In a recent post, I shared that my daughter Ayris has developed a sense of sarcasm (and at age five even).  While helping me to get Adler out of his carseat, I accidentally pushed the latch open with Ayris' finger which was in the way of my reach for the release button.

A few months ago, M went to go visit some friends and family in Oklahoma.  Ayris took it upon herself to help take care of Daddy and shoo away anyone who might want to become our friend while Mommy was out of town.

I need to be careful with what I say to M when I'm joking around.  Sometimes my comments made in jest can be taken out of context and can cause some serious injuries.


To be fair, M thought that it was funny (sort of), but I now know to be careful with my words when M and I are goofing off.  In addition, M is more money conscience with our funds than I am.  As some of you may already know, I had my hip replaced earlier this year due to a degenerative hip disease I've had since I was a kid.  For most of my life, I've learned to stand on my good leg and hold up my bad one as not to put my full weight on it.  After my surgery, M saw me standing like that one day in the kitchen and I got an earful.


What can I say?  It's hard to erase 25+ years of habit in only a few months.  I'm getting better though...I promise!

I recently took the kids to South Dakota for a family reunion.  It was good to see the kids interact with their cousins and the rest of the family.  Ayris was out playing with my aunt Dawn when she found out that some of the girls coming over the next day were avid soccer players and were excited to show Ayris how to play. 

That's when she came up with a brilliant idea:


One of the last days of the trip, my cousin Heidi brought over her boys to play with Ayris and Ash.  Needless to say, kids will be kids and they all started to get a little too rowdy for the boring adults to allow to continue (keep in mind Ash had an incident the day before involving a large rock hitting him in the head with lots of blood from his tiny head wound).









So here ends yet another post of the Lemon.  I'm off to NYC again for the week and I have about 20+ episodes of Arrested Development left before I finish the series.  Here's hoping I can get in another post before the end of the month...but I make no promises.

-Cheers!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Imagine a world without cigarettes...

Let me just start this post by saying I used to be a smoker and can calmly tolerate when others around me smoke.  I also value the opinions of all people on this topic so if smoking bothers those around you, please be considerate of their bitching.

I saw the craziest commercial the other day:

***I was recently informed that this video is no longer available.
Basically, the commercial showed people blowing bubbles instead of smoking
- in the car, on the street, in bars and restaurants...pretty much everywhere people smoke.
The wildest part of this commercial was that there were SO MANY FRICKEN bubbles...they were everywhere!

This has got to be the dumbest concept for anti-smoking I have EVER seen.  Now don't get me wrong, I understand that doing away with smoking inside public places was inevitable.  I mean seriously, the non-smoking section of a restaurant is like trying to stay in the non-urine section of a swimming pool.  But when I saw this ad, I couldn't help but wonder what life would be like if the intent of this ludicrous campaign actually came true.

My first thought was of people's safety with all these rogue bubbles now floating around the planet:







Even worse than our new found enemy known as the common soap bubble, I started to think about all of the millions of people who, without cigarettes, would need to get their nicotine fix from other measures.

It would be pandemonium:


So let's pretend for a minute that everyone complies to no more nicotine and we've now got the bubble epidemic under control.  Now let's think back to those times you or a friend of yours tried to quit smoking.  Now imagine every smoker in the world detoxing at the exact same time:


So thanks a lot "Anti-Tobacco".  You've managed to make the world safe yet again for another generation of non-smokers:


You should all be proud...

-Cheers!