Grown Man Watches Cartoons

For those of you who don't know me very well, I like to watch cartoons.  That's right, I said it - I like cartoons.  And not just Sponge Bob, Family Guy or The Simpsons, I like Futurama, South Park, Venture Brothers, Metalocaplyse,  Robot Chicken...the list goes on (I know that Robot Chicken is more stop motion than cel animation, but let's just put our "pretend hats" on and think outside of the norms for a second m'kay?).  Cartoons are no longer for just children.  In fact, there are several of the ones I just listed I would not allow my kids to watch.  Cartoons have become a fun medium in an otherwise stale world of craptacular television programing.

Earlier this year, I went to Vegas with some of the guys for our friend Jim's bachelor party.  Since I had an assload of frequent flyer miles, I decided to use some for the trip.  While Delta has a decent frequent flyer program, they don't allow you to upgrade your flight to first class if you're using your miles to fly.  This was fine because it was an empty flight (had the whole row to myself) and my friends Jerry and Jim were sitting right behind me.

After takeoff, it was time to settle down for the long haul to Vegas.  I pulled out my PSP and started watching an episode of Family Guy.  I was about ten minutes into the show when the flight attendant wandered by.  She was an older woman who appeared to be in her late 60s.  She glanced at my little movie player and bent down so she could get a closer look at what I was watching.  All of a sudden, she jerked back like someone just smacked her in the face.  She then turned to me, shook her head and walked away. 

About five minutes later, she comes back with the following comment:

I was shocked, I didn't know what to say.  Before I could react, she strolls away, up the aisle, leaving me dumbfounded with confusion and soon to be brewing angst.  I was thinking to myself, "Dude, what the hell?  Haven't you ever seen or heard of this show before?"  I then realized that while I may know adults who watch cartoons, this woman apparently didn't.  I was starting to feel a little silly about my initial reaction to one person's opinion about cartoons, but then I started thinking about it more. 

There is a lot of crap on TV these days.  Yes, there has always been crap, but we're really starting to flat line cater to the lowest common denominator in all of us.  Awful "talent" shows that make 3rd rate, one-time famous "stars" attempting to do off the wall activities just to not get voted off by the viewers.  Seriously, we are about two Nielsen points away from Farting with the Stars. 

Other shows like Biggest Loser can be motivational / inspirational, but I feel a sharp hint of guilt every time I sit down to watch it.  While I understand the premise of the show and that really hasn't changed, I can't help but think that the network execs are doing nothing more than pitting large, overweight people with low self esteem against each other for my entertainment...and what's worse, I enjoy it.  Yes, the finale is always emotional which is full of "good for you" type moments, but throughout the season, I can't help but roll my eyes when the trainers make someone cry just to build them back up again with new found sensitivity and tough love.

But what's worse than this (and I am guilty of it too), are these fake "reality" shows where fake "real" people, go through fake "real" situations and the cameras just happen to be there to capture their fake "real" emotions, reactions and outcomes.  You know these shows, the ones where the women can't hold onto a single thought and blink at the same time.  Where all the men are meaty douche bags who love themselves more than anything else and where everyone talks about their fake "real" problems and how "hard" life can be.  Like I said, terrible stuff, but I'm just as guilty of watching as much as anybody else.

I digress, back to this flight attendant and her arrogant comment.  After thinking about all the rest of the crap that is currently polluting our televisions, I started to realize that cartoons are not the root of all evil and a grown man watching them is NOT the sign of the apocalypse.  Throughout the remainder of the flight, I continued lamenting about my lack of response to this obvious calling out of my maturity and challenging my role in the Universe.  I had a series of those "I should have said this..." type moments which made me start to feel a little better about letting this one go and not retaliate.

My first thought was to be kind, sincere, and intellectual about the whole thing:

That was a good first try, but I could come up with better responses if I gave it some more thought.  I then decided that since this was a flight to Vegas and I wasn't sitting in first class, she probably thought I was some infrequent flyer that she can say anything to because who cares what "Joe Flies Once a Year" feels about the hospitality of her airline.  I then wanted to pull out my Delta Diamond Medallion Sky Miles card and shove it in her face while I act like a total prima donna:

If my status with the airline program didn't mean anything, I thought I'd follow it up by bragging about my overall banked miles/points:

Course, since I was heading through all the stages of my downward spiral, I couldn't rule out the offensive and unoriginal, but always effective:

But I think my friend Wheeler had the best comeback of them all:

Yeah, I should of said that!

So there you have it.  One comment almost ruined my Vegas trip.  While I'd like to say I got over it quickly, I was still fuming about it as we got off the plane.  I cordially said goodbye and wished the flight attendant a good day and never looked back.  20 minutes later, Jerry, Jim and I were having a beer in the Vegas airport waiting for Derek's flight to land before we could begin our fun filled weekend of Vegas excitement (or Vegacitement).

Incidentally, on the way home I got called up to the ticket counter before we start boarding.  The ticket person told me she had never seen this happen, but I was somehow upgraded to first class for the flight home.  Not sure how that happened either, but for what it's worth - thanks Universe!

-Cheers