Urgent Care = The New DMV

The Latin poet Virgil once said, "If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell".  I've always wondered how that would have turned out for him in our modern age.  In a time of total efficiency, process improvements and constant change, I still can't help but wonder why so many things continue to be so disorganized and poorly executed.

I recently had to go to the Urgent Care because my ears had been hurting and it was screwing with my hearing.  M thought it would be a good idea for me to take Adler along because he too had been crabby and sensitive with his ears...that and he was overdue for his next ear infection.  So after work one night, the two of us headed to the Urgent Care to get checked out.

The unfortunate part about this evening at the Urgent Care was that there were already a bunch of people waiting when we arrived at 6:07pm (it opened at 6pm).  There were about 5 people ahead of us in line and by the time we reached the front, the receptionist had already reached the max limit on her Estimated Wait Time sign:

The waiting room was filled with the sounds of "sick".  Coughing, sneezing, wheezing, cell phone chatter, moans and groans and the constant drone of the awful muzak.  It reminded me of what it must be like if you took an entire day's worth of elevator rides and compounded it into one 30 second interval.

As I started to zone out in an attempt to save brain cells, the guy across the room started a sneezing fit.  Now normally I wouldn't care (we are after all at the "sick house" trying to make ourselves well again), but this freakshow wasn't even covering his mouth...not once.  It was loud and boisterous and you could literally see the crud inside his body exiting and dissolving into the air like fresh pee in the shallow end of the kiddie pool.  It was rude and disgusting and it pulled both Adler and me out of our trances immediately:

So much for conserving brain cells.  To help pass the time, Adler decided to tell everyone in the room a story:

Once the levee finally broke with the patience in the room, the funniest thing happened:

For anyone who has visited this site before, I hope you just enjoyed a little chuckle.

Anyway, soon after that it was Captain Snotball's turn to go in to get checked out and there was much rejoicing from the remaining guests who were left behind in the waiting room:

So with what I thought was the end of an entertaining series of events in the waiting room, I tried to go back to my mouth breathing and not think about the fact it had already been like an hour since we first arrived.  Suddenly, I was brought back to reality when the new guest that sat down next to me realized I was holding one of the cutest babies in the world (PLEASE NOTE:  I said ONE of the cutest babies - please don't leave comments arguing why yours is way cuter...I don't care):
 

Things went downhill from there:

Seriously, what the hell does that even mean?

Stating the obvious in 3, 2, 1:

I shouldn't judge.  I'm sure she was just trying to make conversation...maybe...but after sitting there for over an hour and a half, I was in no mood to find out.

So we eventually were called and made our way into one of the clinic's many patient rooms where we were granted an audience with the evening's on-duty medicine wizard-like guy (aka The Doctor).

Okay...

Um, hrm...

Really?  Just my luck...

By that point, I was in no mood...

But Adler sure was!

So after all of that, it turned out Adler was fine and didn't have an ear infection like we thought.  I, however, did have an irritation and required some medication to help my inner ear canal heal and improve my hearing.

So it was off to the pharmacy and a 30-45 minute wait while the pharmacist tech on duty finished her burrito and pulled a pre-packaged box of ear drops off the shelf to complete my order.  All the while, I couldn't help but feel like I was reliving a moment I had recently tried to escape from no more than a mere few hours earlier:

So for those of you who know what it's like to experience the tormented abyss that is commonly known as Urgent Care, I feel your pain and ask that one day we rise up against our health care providers and ask for a better process.  If nothing else, please at least get some better muzak...

-Cheers!