Randomy randomness is random

Welcome back to your regular dose of citrusy lovin' from that not so cordial blog:  Edge of the Lemon.  It's been over a week since my last post, things are starting to get crazy / stupid / busy at work, M and the kids are doing well, and I'm still in search of new shows to watch on TV.  With that said, M and I have started watching the new episodes of Castle (which have been piling up in the DVR) while taking shots of Rumple Mintz throughout the course of the show.  I have dubbed this new game CastleMintz, and I expect it to start catching on in certain areas of world very soon.

As you may have noticed (look to the right), you may see more stuff added to the sidebar.  This stuff is commonly referred to as gadgets in the blogging circles.  I realized that there wasn't really much going on over there so I decided to go crazy with these gadgets to try and attract more readers.

New gadgets include:

• Top 10 most popular blog posts
• A new "Followers" option (since people tell me Facebook sucks at letting them know I have a new post) - PLEASE JOIN SO I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
• Some gadget called Feedjit that shows where the last 10 viewers are from
• And a bunch of fish...feel free to feed them or just simply ignore them (they don't have any feelings so don't feel bad)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy some of the new features and that they bring you hours of enjoyment in the future. 

Now, on with the post:

Several months ago, I posted a series of Random Thoughts.  Considering this was about as successful as any other post, I decided to try it again.  We'll start with some complaining...

Actors are posers and they suck!

In my search for new shows, I have noticed that the wonderful world of TV/movie make believe is not afraid to provide a character that plays video games.  These "gamers", if you will, are often shown in their natural environment in front of a television, controller in hand with the dumbest f%&$ing look on their faces and spazing their bodies like they just stuck a paper clip in an electrical outlet.  What's worse, have these actors who are trying to be "gamers" ever held a controller before?

For those of you who don't understand this frustration, let me try to use a more mainstream example to show you what I am trying to convey.  Imagine an actor has a role as a baseball player; however, this actor has never played nor seen a game of baseball ever in their life.  If they walk up to the plate with a catcher's mitt on their head, a bat sticking out of their ass, and third base stapled to their chest, you'd probably realize right away that actor has no right pretending to be a baseball player.

The same holds true when actors grab a controller and pretends to be a gamer.  In the 30 years I have been playing video games, not once have I ever been required to constantly mash all of the buttons at the same time for five consecutive minutes while contorting my body through an imaginary tennis racket.  Seriously, are you playing Call of Duty or trying to take off a woman's bra for the first time?  Man Up you posers!  ***See what I did there?***

Along with gaming, as a musician I can tell almost right away when someone is not actually trying to look like they know what they're doing when they hold an instrument:

It's almost embarrassing to watch people mess around with the fake confidence that they actually think they are convincing the viewing public they actually know what they are doing...for shame!

For the record, this is how you play a guitar:

***rock hands***

The faster the food...

Dear Wendy's "new" Old Fashioned Burgers with natural cut fries:  You suck!  I miss your old burgers and your old fries were way better.  Goodbye forever...and yes, I am serious.  That is all.

Dear Culver's Butter Burgers:  You're really starting to look good these days (for some reason).  Would you like to come over this Saturday for dinner?

Dear Chipotle Burritos:  Yes, I am still mad at you...you know what you did.  But I will be forgiving you very soon.

Right faux pas, wrong audience:

I recently participated in Employee Appreciation Day at work.  As a Director in my company, I have many "leadership-like" duties where I must be accountable.  For Employee Appreciation Day, it was my important task of welcoming employees as they came into the cafeteria, handing out lunch trays (I gave out vouchers for flashlights last year) and directing them towards the buckets of free chili.  I also had to wear an apron and remind everyone how appreciated they were...it was epic!

After lunch, I ran into the HR director who put the whole thing together.  She told me there was a whole bunch of cornbread left over and that they were going to freeze it so they could give it to a soup kitchen this week for Thanksgiving.  She was obviously very excited as we openly discussed in the elevator on our way back to work:

Did I mention this cornbread was going to a soup kitchen?  For the homeless?  Yeah, not my best moment...

Bang the Wii-mote Slowly:

The below picture is the aftermath of one of my children using a Nintendo Wii remote to hammer pretend nails into a very real wall while their brother and sister cheer them on:

This is why we can't have nice things...


Go Cowboys!

Several weekends ago, Ayris went over to my dad's house, and in between some yard work, they took time off to watch the Cowboys football game.  Ever since, Ayris has been begging to watch more football (I'm so proud!).  She wanted so badly to watch more that she continued to pester M about it.  When Sunday finally rolled around, Ayris wanted to go visit my mom for a few hours and completely forgot about the game coming on.  When M went to go pick her up later, Ayris was very upset when she realized she missed the Cowboys game, and the following conversation took place in car ride home:

I can't wait until Ayris becomes a teenager...

And so ends another series of lessons sometimes known as really real life.  Hopefully everyone enjoyed a nice, fresh glass of randomness along with a whole bunch of new gadgets to peruse (seriously, become a Follower, all the cool kids are doing it...you want to be cool don't you?).

Before we go, I leave you with the latest pic I found online that has been giving me my daily laughs lately:

Get well soon, Mr Dead Bird...

-Cheers!