Responding to the responses:
I like it when people leave comments to posts...it lets me know that someone out there is actually reading this stuff. Anyway, it's been a while since I've responded to the responses so I thought I'd take this opportunity to do so to some of the more recent comments.
Jason: I'm not a word smart guy, thanks for keeping me honest! I also can't math...can you help with that?
Jim: I don't get it either...
Greg: Yes, I did neglect to mention that the Make Fun of Chris "prizes" were my pee cups. Also, if you ever do decided to see "Two cups, one Chris", be sure to capture your reaction on video and post it all over the interweb.
Regular Cinderella: That x-ray story sounds horrifying! Ironically, I asked for a copy of my x-ray that shows my new hip so I could post it on the blog; however, after looking at it, I noticed that it was showing more than I was willing to share with the readers. I remember the conversation I had in my head when I first saw the x-ray: "Sweet, there's an uncomfortable chunk of metal where my bone used to be...and what is that? Oh crap, that's where M's babies come from. Well sh*t..."
Welcome to Rapture, population: you
So I trust that everyone survived Rapture 2.0. Seriously, how many times is this guy going to predict the end of the world before people stop listening? I don't care about your deities or if your prophet is Jesus, Muhammed, Colonel Sanders or Uncle Buckey. People need to learn to think for themselves and stop following random crackpots that spout misinterpreted scripture or flash their "I'm educated" badge. People are so desperate for salvation that they will follow anyone who tells them they can have it. Sorry folks, you have to earn it the old fashion way just like the rest of us.
Wolf Blitzer is an idiot
That's right, I said it. Don't bother telling me I'm wrong here, I don't care. The reason behind my opinion of this "journalist" revolves around his "coverage" of the Osama bin Laden Death Mission. Picture this if you will, the president has just announced Osama bin Laden's death and students all across the country walk the streets in celebration. The next day, the reports start flying in from all over. Mr Blitzer has a live feed with a correspondent on the ground with the recap of the actual mission. As the correspondent finishes his report, he mentions that one of the helicopters used to fly the mission had mechanical problems and had to be destroyed prior to the evacuation.
Now remember, this is the first time the world is given this level of detail regarding what went down and this guy probably knows more about this than most civilians and non-military personnel across the globe. So of course, the Wolfster asks the one question that was on every one's mind at the time:
"Do you know if they used a Black Hawk helicopter?"
Once again, Wolf Blitzer is an idiot.
Orlando Ho!
M and I recently took the kids to Orlando for a mini-vacation and some time away from the fabulous Minnesota weather. They had a good time and we were able to do quite a bit over the long weekend. One of the more memorable stops (and the original reason for going) was Sea World. We saw the dolphin show, the sea lion/otter show and of course the killer whale show. Several years ago, M and I were in Orlando for a work function so we took a detour and hit up Sea World on that trip as well (what else is there to do in Orlando right?). Interestingly (J - is that a word?), the shows were the exact same the second time except for the killer whale show. The first time, trainers were swimming in the water with the whales, riding them and frolicking playfully. The second time, the whales had the pool to themselves, there were guard rails up all over the place and not one trainer made it any further than the wading pool at the front of the theater. Why? Because Tilikum was back in the show. You remember Tilikum don't you? The bull orca that that has killed three people and injured several others? THAT Tilikum?
Since I last saw him , I noticed he's had some new ink done:
I know, this picture is in poor taste and I probably deserve the bad karma heading my way, but still - WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING?!?! I can understand the decision to leave Tilikum alone (he is the only male and has fathered like 15 offspring), but why in Pazuzu's flaming omelet of hellfire would they ever let him back in the show?! Folks, the name says it all - this is a killer whale. No, they did not run out of words when they were naming this species. He's not a huggy-time whale or a rainbow-farting whale. He is a f#&*ing KILLER whale people! The more we make mistakes, the more we are destined to repeat them.
In a lighter story, we also spent a day at Aquatica which is a giant water park. Now I haven't been to a water park in years, but this place was cool! After a day of water rides, roasting in the 100 degree sun and burning our feet on the scorched earth they call walking paths, the kids and I decided to head back to the hotel to spend some time outside by the pool. After dropping off M at the room, the kids jumped into the water and I started to self-medicate with a healthy dose of margaritas from the bar.
Now we stayed at a Hilton resort which goes all out for their guests. Not only do their security guards guard security, but they also double as music DJs. That's right, you read that right, a security guard dressed in uniform was spinning tunes for the folks hanging out in the pool area. For those of you who don't know me, I used to be a DJ back when I was in college mostly doing school dances, weddings and the occasional dorm or frat party (don't call them frats...we don't like that (ATO-vtl)).
It was nice to see that some of the old tricks were still being used today including the Sing, Sing, Sing (With a Swing) medley. For those of you who don't know that one, it's a 14 minute song that keeps the same simple drum beat but plays riffs from a bunch of songs from the big band era and the early days of rock n' roll. Imagine Little Brown Jug mashed together with Chubby Checker's Twist and his follow-up hit Twist Again. Throw in some Benny Goodman and early Elvis along with countless other songs and you have one of the music DJ's best friends: it's fast, it gets people dancing and it's long in case you have to go pee.
This song was then followed by We Like to Party! by Vengabus (it's a guilty pleasure song, admit it) which was then followed by some trivia (1,422 rooms at the Hilton Grand Vacations) and then a repeat of Sing, Sing, Sing (With a Swing) which then made way for We Like to Party! yet again. By this point, I was thoroughly disappointed in "Security Guard DJ" and knew it was only a matter of time before everyone started doing the YMCA...which was of course the next fricken song.
By this point, I had done a good job of self-medicating myself, and knowing we had an early flight home in the morning, I was looking for an excuse to leave:
Overall, it was a great trip. We got to spend time together as a family and get away from the real world commonly known as "life".
So that's about it for this section of random thoughts. There's more here than I thought there would be. Hopefully you all were able to make it through all of this blatherskite. M already went to bed, so I guess that should tell me something. Until next time, I leave you with this final thought: If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's probably a killer whale.
Oh, and Wolf Blitzer is an idiot.
-Cheers!
"J - is that a word?"
ReplyDeleteHow should I know? I'm not an English major.