Anyway, since M is so freakishly crazy about her sleep, we have been sleeping in separate rooms so she can have uninterrupted sleep on the six nights a week she doesn't have to get up with our son. That means that either Ayris or Asher gets to sleep with me in the "big bed" each night (fortunately our kids can sleep through a plane crash so there is no fear of waking them in the middle of the night). But that also means a nightly ritual of arguing over who gets to sleep where. Now don't feel bad for M on this because it's a constant flux as to who wants Mommy or Daddy. Some weeks, it's all about who GETS to sleep with Daddy while other times they're fighting over who HAS to sleep with Daddy (I personally feel it's their way of stalling and not going to bed, but I can't prove anything yet).
I recently decided to try something new with one of our more recent encounters with this. Typically it's a shouting match, hitting/kicking has been known to be involved, and usually ends with M or me bargaining a college education's worth of goodies and bribes to the one who is willing to give in. This time, however, I decided to take a page out of my parent's Book of Conflict Resolution. Growing up, when my sister and I would get into an argument, we would be sat down facing each other (knee to knee) and would not be allowed to leave until we worked out our differences. We hated being put into that situation so much, that whatever it was that we were fighting over seemed so trivial that we'd just let it go so we can get out of the "knee to knee chairs".
While I wasn't ready to sit the kids knee to knee, I thought that it would be good to let the two of them work through it on their own. "Looks like we've got a problem here, guys. You two need to talk it through and figure it out." That was the only instruction I gave them. In hindsight, I probably should have given a three and a four year old a little more direction.
Here is how the conversation unfolded (NOTE: I added the podiums in the cartoon for comedic purposes only...no, we do not have several of these stored in our home in the event a wicked-awesome debate happens to break out).
Being the logical thinker that she is, Ayris starts with the obvious. Asher, on the other hand, goes down the more personal route:
Feeling confident, Ayris continues her offensive attack with more validity. Ash tries to confuse his opponent with random facts:
Wow, such different strategies! Ayris takes first blood with a reminder of the already established rules. Ash plays the gender card:
Confusion seems to be working a little as Ayris continues to justify her stance by her deeper interpretation of the already mentioned rules. Ash tries hypnosis.
Feeling trapped (and totally confused), Ayris begins her bargaining which Ash begrudgingly accepts:
Wait, what? Did they just commit me to a late night filled with Fraggle Rock? Oh well, I was so proud of them for working this out on their own that I didn't care. I felt like I had taught them something on how to better handle conflicts and maybe, just maybe, they would be able to work through their differences without the need to take ten paces, turn and shoot (again, another metaphor...M would kill me if I gave our kids guns).
So with this small victory, me thinking I did something right to actually teach my children good morals and the happiness of knowing I was going to be sleeping soon, I went to bed that evening with a sense of accomplishment and overall good karma.
Then this happened:
Sometimes you just can't win...
-Cheers!
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