Your Ad Here

Sir Winston Churchill once said, "Advertising nourished the consuming power of men...sets up the goal of a better home, better clothing, better food for himself and his family. It spurs individual exertion and greater production. It brings together in fertile union those things which otherwise would not have met."

Whatever.

I personally feel that the advertising agencies are doing it all wrong.  They are so desperate for ad space they have ruined our highways, littered our landscapes, invaded our internet, cut our TV shows down to 17 minutes and added about 20 - 50 extra pages to our magazines.  But yet, I still believe they miss the mark when it comes to catching their target audiences.

How can they for sure get that women's deodorant (by Mennen?) in front of all women?  How can they get that Hair Club for Men to only men?  Where can a gender specific ad go where you know it will hit the target audience each and every time?  That's right, the restroom.

Now before you say it, I am well aware of the current strategy:

But seriously, how effective is this when not everyone stands at a urinal?  How can you catch the attention of the guy who just ate 2 chili gut busters and ran into a vacant toilet stall?  Where is the one place in any bathroom that everyone always looks regardless of their intended duties?  Yep, the mirror.

Now I know what you're thinking - "But Chris, how can we check ourselves out in the mirror if there are ads in the way?"  Great question...the answer - built in TVs.

 I know this technology already exists today, M has it in her car:

It looks like a regular mirror until you put the car into reverse.  There is a little screen that turns on to help you see directly behind you when you back out your car.  Why is it no one has decided that putting this technology into public restroom mirrors is a good idea?  Imagine capturing the target audience each and every time, the forceful nature of having to watch the commercial (it's not like anyone is going to skip their grooming process in a restroom just because someone is trying to sell them vodka), and best of all - everyone who steps into that restroom is going to see the ad.  If this wasn't enough to convince someone to make this the next big thing, I have put together a few mock-ups of what I believe this might look like. 

Imagine if you will you're a woman out on a first date.  He seems nice, you're looking good, you're feeling good about how things are going, and you go to the restroom to powder your nose / freshen up / go pee / whatever.  As you're in front of the mirror, it suddenly comes alive with who else but Catherine Zeta Jones:

Wow, good thing Cathy was there to help you out, huh?  You then realize you haven't spritzed any Uncle Buckey's on you lately so you grab the nearest bottle and spray away.  You return to the table (mentally giving Catherine Zeta Jones a high-five) and continue with your date.  Your soon-to-be husband is so overwhelmed by you that he whisks you away in his private jet to get married in Paris that very evening.  And you owe it all to mirror ads!

For the guys out there, they seem to be more "fashion inept".  Now I know I'm one of them, but it's really sad what straight men consider "looking good" these days.  Only two holes still counts as the "good jeans" and a pit stained shirt still has some decent mileage left in it as long as you don't raise your arms...or move them at all.  But what seems to be our worst offense is our hair.

Imagine you are a single guy out on the town with the fellas and you decide to hit the restroom to release some bio-hazardous waste / bake some brownies / drop the kids off at the pool / whatever.  As you're in front of the mirror, it suddenly comes alive with, you guessed it, Joe Pesci:

Amazing what a life saver he can be.  Thanks Joe Pesci!

As always, when there's a yin, there's a yang.  I took my idea to everyone's favorite person:  Mike Wheeler.  He reminded me that there could be a lot of risk involved with such an idea.  Imagine if the ad companies missed the mark with their target audience and made poor decisions (I know it's unlikely, but humor me).

What if they started using this technology to show music videos and they played the wrong one:

They could end up with a lot of broken mirrors around the city if they weren't careful.*

So I think you get the intent of the concept now.  If this exists already, I apologize to anyone who has already implemented it and took offense to my version of your evil.  Seriously, if it ever comes to something like this, I may need to give wearing diapers a second thought.

-Cheers!

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*Please note, if I offended any Rebecca Black fans out there....GOOD!  You wouldn't know actual music if it came up and stabbed you in the eardrum with a spoon.  For those of you who are not familiar with Rebecca Black or her song, Friday, please re-read the lyrics in the above cartoon.  I did not take many liberties in this sketch for the sake of comedy...yes, they actually suck that hard.  For those of you curious as to what I am talking about, do yourself a favor - instead of searching for this song and watching it on YouTube, go out to your local hardware store and ask them to smack you in the head a few dozen times with a pillowcase full of doorknobs.  Trust me, you will feel much better about yourself.